Yesterday, I drove on the interstate in “the city” to drop a friend off at the airport. I consider it a huge accomplishment. You may say, “So what? I drive to the city all the time.” For me, it is a big deal! When I was young, I had some negative experiences driving on the interstate, and I developed a mental block, especially about driving on highways in busy locations.
What seems so normal and “doable” to others has been an anxiety-inducing activity, which makes me blow a gasket! After I navigate the trip successfully, I always have a vague hope that the next time I have to drop someone at the airport, I will be firing on all cylinders, cruising down the road with a smile on my face. But so far…no (fuzzy) dice. I realize that to change my anxious response, I have to change my behavior. Driving into the city once every three years, purposely avoiding it whenever possible, won’t solve my problem.
Is your conscience pricking you about serious sin?
When it comes to the Sacrament of Reconciliation (also called Confession, or the Sacrament of Penance), we may experience something similar to my fear of driving in the city. It isn’t that we don’t want to go, we just find ourselves not going.
Especially if we have committed a serious sin, called a mortal sin, we may not want to face that in the confessional. The longer we wait, the less we want to think about the delay and the sins we ought to be confessing.
Overcoming our reluctance to go to Confession is infinitely more important than conquering any other fear or hesitancy we have. To put it starkly, if our sin is mortal, we are cut off from a life of grace, and a heartfelt confession can literally make the difference between an eternity with God and an eternity in hell.
If you know you have a mortal sin to confess, but you’ve been putting it off, I beg you: don’t overthink it, just go to confession as soon as you can, for heaven’s sake. You’ll be so glad you did!
Avoiding Confession for another reason?
Whether we have a mortal sin, or a less serious sin (venial) on our conscience, we may avoid going to confession for any number of reasons. We may ask ourselves: if I go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, will I have to give up my favorite coping mechanisms? Will I become more depressed about my life and my failings? Will I become some sort of religious radical if I get serious about rooting out sin? Will complete honesty with God and myself make me feel awkward, uncomfortable, or vulnerable?
Or perhaps our fear stems from wondering what the priest will say. Frankly, some priests aren’t good in the confessional, and they can make us feel silly or give us bad information. In my experience, most confessors are good, but when they are not, it can be painful and confusing.
As a priest, they have been given a special charism by God to absolve sins, but they may not carry it out well. This is sad, but we need to respond by praying for them and finding a better confessor.
Ultimately, if we let our fear stop us from doing everything we can to receive the graces poured out on us in Confession, the devil wins.
(Understanding the Sacrament of Reconciliation—what it is and what it isn’t—can also be helpful when we find ourselves afraid of confessing our sins to a priest.)
Spiritual Battles and True Love
Even if we haven’t committed a “mortal” sin, the Sacrament of Reconciliation is the normal way Jesus established for us to fight temptation and to restore our relationship with God and others. As it says in James 4:7-8, “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts…”
Confessing regularly doesn’t just help us fight temptations and the enemy of our souls. It helps us love. It restores our relationship with God, which is meant to be grounded in love and intimacy. Likewise, it restores our relationship with others, which is the second of the two greatest commandments. (See Matt 22:37-39)
The Catechism of the Catholic Church beautifully outlines what confession is and why we need it in paragraphs 1420 through 1498. One thing we learn from the Catechism is that Confession is a sacrament of healing. Jesus, the Great and Glorious Physician and the Lover of your Soul, is waiting there for you in order that “you might have life and have it more abundantly” (Jn 10:10).
Note: Need help identifying areas of sin? Use this helpful Examination of Conscience.
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