Prayer: A Relationship of Love, Part 2

Read Part 1 of this 3-part series here. 

In the sixth chapter of the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus affirms the truth that prayer is ultimately a relationship of love in three simple, but deeply profound, verses. To elucidate this truth more deeply, let us examine these verses individually.

First, Jesus says, “When you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men” (Matthew 6:5). What is tragic about these hypocrites is not primarily their vanity, but their ignorance regarding their own identity, which one could argue is the very reason for their vanity. Because they don’t know who they are and what prayer is, they use prayer as a means to seek the affirmation and approval of others. Jesus’ teaching on prayer is meant to dissolve the notion that prayer is merely a self-help tool or a means to bolster one’s own value or importance among their peers. Rather, Jesus teaches us that we pray because God has called us individually into a relationship of love with him, and he wants to be the priority and love of our lives. Prayer is, of course, not the only way to engage in this relationship of love with God; however, it remains an essential component of that relationship, one in which, if we are not engaged in, the relationship will suffer dramatically. When we understand this and accept this truth more in the depths of our souls, our insecurities, self-love, and doubts both about God and one’s own worth slowly begin to diminish. Herein, then, lies a rather stunning conclusion based upon the first verse of Jesus’ teaching on prayer: in prayer, God wants to see you. He wants your eyes, your heart, and your mind to be turned towards him and only him. Why? Because he loves you and wants to draw you deeper into this relationship of love.

Second, Jesus says, “When you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you” (Matthew 6:6). Where is this room that Jesus tells us to go into when we pray? Prayer might involve seeking out a quiet physical space, whether that be in one’s home, a church, or a secluded spot in nature. A special place for prayer, especially one that is quiet and solitary, can be very helpful and even soothing for our restless hearts and busy minds, however, the room that Jesus is speaking of here that we are to enter for prayer is the heart! Regarding the heart as the ultimate place of prayer, St. Theophan the Recluse writes, “The principal thing (in prayer) is to stand with the mind in the heart before God, and to go on standing before him unceasingly day and night until the end of life.” [1] The human heart, then, is meant to be like a hermitage, or at the very least, a place set apart where we can commune with God. Because this special place of prayer, the human heart, exists within us, there is never a moment in life that we might find ourselves in where we cannot pray. No matter where we are or what is going on in our lives, we always have our heart within us, and it is in our heart where this relationship of love with God ultimately exists. Prayer, then, is a matter of entering into our hearts to be with and live with God, and this can occur whether we are stuck in traffic, in a doctor’s office, or even in a meeting. Prayer is always possible because God is present within us.

Finally, Jesus’ teaching on prayer concludes when he says, “In praying do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your father knows what you need before you ask him” (Matthew 6:8). Jesus’ final teaching here on prayer is very liberating. Essentially, he is telling us, you don’t have to explain yourself or prove yourself in prayer. You don’t have to manipulate life or even God to experience the love, mercy, and closeness of God. You don’t have to go off to some desert island or some exotic retreat center to find yourself. You don’t have to feel, think, or speak a certain way to get God’s attention. None of this is necessary in prayer. Why? “Your father knows what you need before you ask him.” The reason for this now should be obvious, because you are already in a relationship of love with him! The one thing, however, we do need to do in prayer, then, is to believe this and live this as deeply as we can.

[1] Alexander Ryrie. Prayer of the Heart: An Approach to Silent Prayer, SLG Press, 1995, 1

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