Dan Burke recommends that spiritual direction come outside of the context of a friendship.
“We hear variations of the lie that we are ‘not enough.’ And yet we have the precise gifts for our particular family, for our exact calling, for this specific cross, in this time, at this place, for this season. God promises only daily bread, and it is made to order. We do not have the grace for anyone else’s life—or even for tomorrow—but we have all we need to become more fully ourselves, which is more like Christ, today.” – Claire Dwyer
“The Program of Life, then, is like a spiritual workout program that ensures spiritual growth because it is customized to the individual’s needs and opportunities. When we meet with our spiritual director, it is good to start by going over the headlines, but, reviewing together the main points of the Program of Life is the real path to consistent, substantial progress.” – Fr. John Bartunek
Confession and spiritual direction are like partially overlapping circles: they share some common characteristics, but their centers, their essences, are distinct.
Finding a good spiritual director is not easy. However, for those serious about advancing in prayer and the interior life, it is important to keep looking until you find a good fit—not necessarily a ‘perfect’ person, but somebody pursuing holiness, knowledgeable about prayer and the Catholic faith, committed to the Magisterium, and deeply desirous to help you grow spiritually and discern the movements of the Holy Spirit in your life.
Could my pulling away be boredom, impatience, restlessness, or resistance? It’s hard to do the deep work. It’s even harder because we live in a culture and an age of diversion, distraction and instant gratification.