In our culture today, we are extremely focused on progress, goal setting, and achievement. There is a sense that if I am going to dedicate time and energy to something, it must offer a tangible reward. This is especially true if we believe, because we are busy, that our time is valuable. We do not have time to do unimportant or unnecessary things. And, if it is possible for important and necessary things to be done more quickly, we are all in. It seems as if we want all the ‘life hacks’ out there, from laundry to health to our spiritual life. We want to make progress, and we want it now.
When we begin to take our relationship with God more seriously and devote time and attention to it, we may question whether we are making progress. I am asked this question regularly when people begin spiritual direction. They have begun a new plan, and like many of us when we begin a new plan, we want to know how we are doing. Unlike other plans, such as drinking more water, walking every day, or spending less time in front of screens, it is not often easy or quick to notice results. No spiritual chart tells you if you pray for ‘x’ amount of time, ‘y’ days a week, ‘z’ will happen.
That is not how a soul or God works. Each of us progresses toward God differently. We are each unique individuals. That said, there are certain changes that happen when one begins to focus on praying with scripture and meditation, moving toward contemplation.
I Want to Pray
We know we need to pray regularly to grow in our spiritual life. But when we begin mental prayer, it is often hard.
We want to be silent and hear God, and our minds are going in countless different directions. But we persist in the silence, moving from 10 to 20 to 30 minutes. And with each step, as we continue to practice, it becomes less about getting rid of distracting thoughts and more about being with God. You may sense it first in your body. Your posture relaxes, tension is released, and breathing slows. Or maybe it is your mind that shifts first. You sense peace. You realize there is a lack of distraction.
You relax and settle into your time with God. At first, this happens once a week, then, as you extend the length of time you pray and the number of times you pray, it grows. Ignatius of Loyola says that if you have decided to, ahead of time, to pray for a certain amount of time, stick to that time, no matter what. If you think you are not getting much out of that time, do not make a change in your time. All time spent in prayer is a benefit to us.
All time spent in prayer is a benefit to us.
In the beginning, you may find that going to pray is a bit of a chore. As you pray this way more consistently, you will come to want to pray this way. That is a sign of progress, going from “I am supposed to pray” to “I want to pray.”
Behavior Changes
Most of us have faults or behaviors that could be changed. There is a lack of virtue. This is another area where we can see progress in our spiritual life.
Let’s say I am inclined to react with foul language when people do something I do not like. It might be my need to be in control or always be right. Whatever the case, the words that erupt are not helpful.
In my prayer time, God reveals to me that I lack compassion for others or I am selfish. I realize I need to stop before I respond, especially when I am annoyed. I begin to pause, asking the Holy Spirit to help me say what I want to say nicely, or maybe asking if I even need to respond at all. I continue to be aware of reactions to others in my speech. After a while, I realize that I no longer respond with foul language; in fact, I come to notice that people’s actions are bothering me less and less. I can let it go without comparison or judgment or correction.
Another aspect of your daily life that may change is that you find yourself checking in with God during the day, either to pray or ask him what you need to do. Prayers of thanks and praise come spontaneously as you become more aware of God in your daily life. It is not a coincidence; it is God. You ask for his wisdom in decision-making or to give you the words you need for a difficult conversation.
You will change when you pray. Why? We are meant to have a relationship with our Creator. He knows us better than we know ourselves. Spending time together is the best way to get to know him–and yourself–better.
How do I Feel?
If we think about prayer as a time to be with God, which it is, how do we feel before, during and after that time with him? It is similar to being with someone who knows and loves you. After we spend time with those folks, we may feel recharged and renewed. Time with God does the same.
As we make progress, we come to cherish our time with him and desire it more often. We may notice that if we skip mental prayer time a few days in a row, we feel a bit off, or that something is lacking. We realize that we need to spend time in prayer to be ourselves.
Another thing that may shift is how you spend your time. Maybe you find yourself driving without music or a podcast, choosing to read a spiritual book rather than watching TV, or you are more intentional with how you spend your time.
Define Progress
Progress in the spiritual life is not linear. Life has a way of derailing all of us at times. You go into maintenance mode and not growth mode. And that is fine. God knows what is in front of you. You will go back to deep, mental prayer because once it has become a habit you will want to.
Our prayer life, our journey toward God and his will takes time and perseverance. No matter where you are on this journey, continue showing up and know that God is always there with you. Your presence to a consistent prayer time is both your invitation to and from God. Say yes to the invitation, and you will make progress.
You and God are both showing up; progress is inevitable.
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