At the end of bible study, we ask if anyone has any prayer requests.
The women sigh.
Some look down, others start talking before the question is said, and others sit and listen attentively, pencil ready to write down the prayers. These are often the worries of our hearts, people who are sick, jobless, troubled marriages, children who have left the faith, or addictions. Most often, these prayers are for other people, not us. We want to intercede for those we love.
I can hardly recall a person asking for prayers for themselves. The few times it happened it was for a tragic illness or situation, something insurmountable without God.
Raise the Roof
In the gospel of Luke, there is the story of a paralytic man being lowered, by his friends, through the roof of a house. The man was put right before Jesus and Jesus said, “Man, your sins are forgiven you,” (Luke 5:29b). Focus on the actions of his friends. They carried him from his home to Jesus. They interceded, with their action, to help their friend. Did the man ask them to help? It is not mentioned in the passage but picture the scene before they take this little trip through town.
The man knows that Jesus is a healer, and he wants to be healed. He tells his friends, “I need help. I want to walk. Can you get me to Jesus?” There is action on the part of the man. He knows what he wants and knows who to ask to help him get to Jesus. His friends care about him, so they agree to bring him to Jesus. But the crowds make it impossible to get close. Can you see the man, laying on some sort of a bed or stretcher, willing someone to move so he can get near to Jesus? Many of the people were there for the same reason, for healing and they were not moving. His friends took decisive action, carried him to the roof of the house, and then lowered him down.
This story reminds me repeatedly to ask for help. Specifically, to ask for prayers from others for what I need. I want to pray for my friends’ needs and believe they want to pray for me. Asking for prayers for your own needs is not selfish. It is an act of trust–and humility.
Trust and Humility
In the Catechism, we read that intercession is “asking on behalf of another” (CCC# 2635). Clearly, we are meant to pray for each other. And when we ask someone else to pray for us, we allow them to intercede for us in a meaningful, necessary way.
However, it requires trust and humility. Ask a trusted friend or two to pray for a specific intention for you. When I say “for you” I mean for your needs. Do you need a new job? Would you like the courage to have a difficult conversation? Are you concerned about a medical procedure? Tell your friend what you need, be specific about it but do not think you have to give every detail. God knows the details.
But can I pray for myself? Yes.
I have come to see the benefit of praying for myself regularly. Each time I pray with scripture I ask for a certain grace, “to love myself as God does,” “to grow closer to Jesus,” or “please lift my sadness.” When I meditate on the Word, I find what I need.
Another way to begin praying for yourself is by praying a novena for a specific intention or need you have in your life. When I am overwhelmed, I often pray the response from the Surrender Novena, “O Jesus, I surrender myself to You, take care of everything.” My spiritual director suggested I begin praying the entire novena, on repeat, until the struggles subside.
Why ask God for our needs when He knows them? Humility. When we acknowledge our needs to God and ask him for help, it shows humility. It is saying to God, I need you. I trust you. I believe that you hear me and care. In a way, praying for God’s help in all different times, places, and situations is our reminder that he is not out there, somewhere, but right next to us, in the ordinary joys and difficulties of our lives.
Does it seem presumptuous to ask God for help all day long? Flip that thought to it shows how you want to be close to Him. God desires to be with us in all that we do. Inside of us is the desire for union with Him.
What is presumptuous is to tell God how to solve your problem or respond to your needs. That is where the trust comes in; go to God, ask for what you need, know he is listening, will help, and accept what is offered. It does not have to be your way. In fact, God always has a better solution.
It can be difficult to go to God for our needs. We have an easier time interceding for others than asking for ourselves. This is why a bit of humility helps. Humility is not to make us feel or think we are less than. Rather, it is to remind ourselves that God is God, and we are not.
When we take the time to look into our soul and realize what we need, it honors God. He created each of us with a unique personality. Our prayers to him are not like anyone else’s. In the quiet depth of our soul, what do we know we want to ask him? What are we afraid of? What needs healing? What virtue would we like to grow? Then there is the prayer, if only, I could do this Lord. It is my heart’s desire. You know that prayer you are afraid to say to anyone, even in a way to yourself. It is too big, too special, you think maybe it is even unattainable. Ask. God gave you the desires of your heart. Ask for His help in making them happen, “For with God nothing will be impossible,” (Luke 1:37).
Soul Care
Our lives can sometimes seem as if we go at the speed of light, rarely slowing down to take care of our souls. When we take care of our souls with both dedicated prayer time each day and ongoing conversation with God throughout the day, we draw closer to God. “Draw near to God and he will draw near to you,” (James 4:8).
All of us want to be close to God. And He wants to be close to us. The Holy Spirit is in you. When we receive Holy Communion, we have the Body and Blood of Jesus in us. We cannot get any closer. Prayer is what keeps us united.
Praying for yourself keeps you on the narrow path. It keeps you close to God, Father, Son, and Spirit. It helps you know and follow God’s will for your life. It helps you love others well. It helps you to be fully alive, witnessing to the world a person who reflects the glory of God.
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