In Rule Twelve, we learned that Satan’s strength depends on our weakness, which means we must stand firm at the onset of temptation. In the Thirteenth Rule, St. Ignatius schools us on the importance of bringing any doubts and confusion to wise counsel, so God may shine His light of truth on them—bringing clarity to our confusion and strength to our weakness.
The Thirteenth Rule: Likewise, [the enemy] acts as a licentious lover in wanting to be secret and not revealed. For, as the licentious man who, speaking for an evil purpose, solicits a daughter of a good father or a wife of a good husband, wants his words and persuasions to be secret, and the contrary displeases him much, when the daughter reveals to her father or the wife to her husband his licentious words and depraved intention, because he easily gathers that he will not be able to succeed with the undertaking begun: in the same way, when the enemy of human nature brings his wiles and persuasions to the just soul, he wants and desires that they be received and kept in secret; but when one reveals them to his good Confessor or to another spiritual person that knows his deceits and evil ends, it is very grievous to him, because he gathers, from his manifest deceits being discovered, that he will not be able to succeed with his wickedness begun.
In the Thirteenth Rule, St. Ignatius uses another analogy to open our eyes to the enemy’s tactics.
He tells us that the enemy acts like a false lover who makes sly and secret advances to tempt an honorable woman into an immoral relationship. This man not only makes his advances in secret, but tries to convince the woman to keep them a secret out of shame, fear, or rebellion. This ruinous “lover” knows if she tells her upstanding father—or being married, tells her honorable husband—she will be protected and his sordid designs will fail. This is how the enemy acts toward us.
In temptation, Satan proposes some thought or idea that goes against God’s truth. The Enemy often whispers this temptation in the “secret” of our subconscious or in the “darkness” of desolation when we are most vulnerable. When we find ourselves persuaded by this thought, we often experience accompanying feelings of shame, fear, or rebellion. These feelings make us feel we have done something wrong even if we haven’t acted upon a temptation. They might also make us fear that we will lose something we desire if we were to reveal our struggle. Thus we are tempted to keep these thoughts and ideas in secret where the enemy can continue to twist them for our destruction, rather than bringing them “into the light” of a wise Spiritual Director or good Confessor—for if we do, God can shine His divine truth on them and bring freedom.
Why not just bring these thoughts to God alone in prayer? As humans we are body and soul; thus, it is very useful for us to engage the senses of our body in the truth as it is communicated to our soul. Alone, we more easily fall prey to the enemy’s continual advances and can quickly become lost. Even when we know objectively that we are being tempted, it is easy for our reasoning to become distorted and confused in the echo chamber of our thoughts.
When we audibly speak seemingly silly or shameful temptations out loud, however, we can begin to hear how brazen they truly are. We can also receive an audible response of God’s truth through another of His wise, experienced disciples. We often receive the truth more readily and deeply when we can associate it with such a name, face, and authority. We can likely all think of a moment when a wise person’s words cut through the fog—it creates a lasting, sensible memory. We can recall their exact words in their distinct voice, and remember the response of deep conviction, clarity, or assurance we felt in our mind and soul. This is why the Good Spirit encourages us to bring doubts to the light, while the Enemy wishes them to remain hidden and secret.
The Enemy’s “secret” temptations can often occur around large and weighty decisions like one’s vocation, or important daily considerations like ministry and prayer. The false “whispers” of the enemy to faithful souls are not always temptations to overt evil, but often temptations to some action that will lessen the amount of good one might accomplish in serving God.
Once I was discerning a ministry endeavor that would engage specific gifts God had given me for the good of the Church. I prayed intentionally and kept my heart open to the Lord’s will as I developed and prepared for this endeavor, asking for detachment or closed doors if it wasn’t His will. The doors continued to open, and I decided to begin. I received positive feedback immediately from several people, and felt true consolation in the work I was doing. Yet a few weeks after beginning, a passing comment from a single person in a single conversation had me questioning everything—including my motives, my qualifications, and my call to this area of ministry.
I knew I should bring these doubts to my spiritual director, but they felt so true and accusatory that I was afraid to; I was convinced that if I shared my fears, my suspicions would be confirmed, and I would have to give up the work that I loved. Yet I knew if I didn’t share my doubts, I would continue to wonder if I had deceived myself and, by proxy, the souls I was serving.
I dejectedly aired my doubts to my Spiritual Director the next time we met. She asked me some simple but pointed questions, and I answered as honestly as possible despite feeling defensive and worrying that I was deluding myself. Yet as we talked, she helped to untangle the threads of distortion I was so tightly wrapped in. She gave me some assurance and affirmation of my gifts, along with some information and considerations to take to prayer as I continued to discern this area of ministry with the Lord. The next time I went to prayer, His message was loud and clear: just because you desire this thing doesn’t mean it’s not My will. Tentatively, I continued. During the next ministry session, my soul overflowed with peace, joy, and purpose, with affirmations that brought undeniable clarity in response to my doubts. The Lord had confirmed His will.
Indeed, I discovered how the Enemy loves to tempt us with this fear: God’s will probably won’t align with my desires, even if they’re good. The truth is that sometimes our desires and God’s will are the same, and sometimes they’re different. God gives us desires in order to fulfill them—sometimes in different ways than we expect, but always with Himself. True discernment involves bringing your questions, doubts, desires earnestly into the light of wise counsel, so you can more clearly discern where your desires and your will line up directly with the Lord’s, and where He might be purifying your desires and will to answer them in a deeper, more fulfilling way.
The Lord often works through wise and holy Spiritual Director to do just this, providing a valuable voice of reason in the confusion. Another resource is that of a “good” Confessor, as St. Ignatius says. Maybe you’ve experienced a confession where the priest ministered deeply to your soul, brought striking clarity, and seemed to understand your needs far beyond the simple words you spoke. This is the type of good Confessor St. Ignatius encourages us to seek out whenever doubts and confusion begin to weigh us down.
Recently I was discerning a commitment called the 19th Annotation—a beautiful format of the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises requiring a significant commitment of prayer over many months. I began praying about the possibility half a year in advance: turning it over in contemplation, discussing it with my spiritual director, seeking detachment if it was not God’s will and seeking openness if it was. Over and over, I was left with a sense of peace; I felt God impressing on my heart that the 19th Annotation was a true gift from the Lord’s heart to mine.
Ultimately, after many months of discussion with my Spiritual Director, we confirmed that I should begin the following month. I was thrilled and excited—but only briefly. Then the doubts started rolling in:
Maybe I’m being selfish committing to this and taking up my Spiritual Director’s time.
How pure are my intentions, really? What if I just want to appear holier by taking on this commitment? It’s probably all pride.
What makes me think I have the stamina to persevere in such a huge commitment? I’ve already failed God in so many ways—clearly, I’ll fail at this too.
The thoughts were incessant. The moment I tried to dismiss one with reasoning and sound evidence from my months of discernment, another distorted thought or doubt would take its place. I knew deep down that I was likely being tempted, but it was difficult to cut through the noise on my own.
Finally, I brought my thoughts and doubts to the confessional. The wise priest kindly said, “It’s encouraging that after months of peace, these doubts are plaguing you so strongly only when you’re about to begin. It shows how terrified and desperate the Enemy is since you are about to commit wholeheartedly to God’s will and receive so many graces… for yourself, and by extension, for the Body of Christ.” Those audible words allowed me to firmly push back against the doubts until I had begun my commitment. I even received an inspiration to consecrate the 19th Annotation commitment to our Blessed Mother. The moment I began, the graces overflowed.
In each of these examples, we observe how it is imperative to “break the spiritual silence” when tempted to remain silent, as Father Timothy Gallagher tells us. This also confirms that not one of us is meant to go through the spiritual life alone or unaccompanied. Though it is never easy to ask for help or admit we need it, doing so is a necessity if we wish to experience the freedom, hope, and consolation for which God has created us.
In the process of humbling ourselves and allowing ourselves to be accompanied, God’s light of truth delivers the strength we need to persevere. This strength also helps us to build up our defenses against the wiles of the enemy, which St. Ignatius will soon teach us in our final rule of discernment—Rule Fourteen.
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