A spiritual direction appointment is your time to speak with a person you trust about God. In the early stages of direction, it can be difficult to know what exactly to talk about, and as you get comfortable with spiritual direction, you may sometimes be lax about preparing. No matter how long you’ve been going to spiritual direction, you may benefit from a refresher on preparation.
Begin from The Last Meeting
When your appointment ends with your director, know what your focus is on until you meet again. Is there a specific book you are reading, praying a Consecration to Mary, or working on a particular virtue with scriptures to read? Your director may give you the scriptures right away or send them to you after the meeting. Did questions come up that you will pray about or is there something to revisit? Be sure to write down these in your journal so you have them where you can find them when you go to pray.
Yes, I Said Journal
For years, I went to spiritual direction without a journal. Why? Because I did not use one regularly. I do not recall even a suggestion to write down what happened in prayer. I went to each appointment and answered questions about what was going on in my spiritual life, but it was not very systematic. There was rarely a plan of what to work on; it was very loose. And in retrospect, while it did help me, it would have been more helpful had there been structure and reflection, both to my prayer and the appointments.
Each time you pray with what you have agreed on with your director, be sure to journal. It can be as little as a phrase, a few sentences, or pages and pages but write something to help you recall what struck you, what God seemed to say, and what your response was to God. Did you shift from a negative to a positive thought pattern? Were you convicted in an area that needs work? Did God remind you of a promise you made or give you an insight that will help a relationship? It is easy to think, “this is so important I won’t forget,” but then something happens, and the thought goes away!
Journaling or if you prefer, note-taking, helps us remember. You can journal with a simple spiral notebook and a ballpoint pen. The physical act of writing helps put it in our brains. It can also be of help when we are stuck in cycle of not noticing God in our lives or feeling neglected. Reading past entries shows us how God worked in our lives, the answered prayers, and the gifts received.
If you want to draw what you have seen in prayer, go ahead and do that. You do not have to be a skilled artist; this is for you. Or you can write big, bold messages with markers or colored pencils. Those phrases can serve as prayer aspirations to use when you are struggling or as reminders to do something different.
Some people like to write notes in the margins of their bible. I do that as I read, underlining or writing a question to pray with the next time.
These notes are a record of your ongoing conversation with God and his word. So often we wonder if God is speaking to us, if we are growing closer to him, if we have changed to be closer to the person God created us to be.
The words and drawings remind us of where we began and how we have progressed in our spiritual life. Progress in the spiritual life can be quite subtle, which is why a journal can be helpful.
Before Your Meeting
Have I convinced you to use a journal both as a reflection tool and a record of your spiritual life? I hope so. Because your journal is one of the things you will need to prepare for your spiritual direction time. You will need your bible and journal; a highlighter or different colored pen if you like and a few bookmarks if you wrote in your bible.
Your preparation time is prayer time. Begin by asking for wisdom from the Holy Spirit and put yourself in a mindset of a prayerful reflection of the past month. It is not the time to focus on what you did not do or what did not happen. Was there consolation or desolation? Did he convict you of something you need to change, a virtue to work on? Were prayers answered?
Begin with your bible, skimming any passages you read and noting any questions or comments you made. Either put a bookmark there or write them in your journal. Then, go through your journal, use a highlighter, or star or circle the things you wrote that you want to bring up in direction. You could also use tiny sticky notes in the bible and journal.
If you are reading a book, do the same thing. It is helpful to have a plan as to what you want to talk about when you meet with your director.
Once you have reviewed your month, jot down other things you want to talk about. If you are struggling with having a consistent prayer time or distractions in prayer, you can mention that. Are you discouraged about something, or do you feel a tug toward a particular devotion? Write it down so you do not forget.
While the purpose of your appointment is to talk about your spiritual life, it is also about the intersection of your life and faith. We do not have one box for our faith, one for work, one for family, and so on. Faith is there to help us navigate all our life experiences. We cannot take God or faith in and out of a box as if it is totally separate from our being. Bring all aspects of your life to direction.
At Your Appointment
Once you have reviewed and made notes about your prayer in the last few weeks and any questions that you want to discuss, the best thing to do is say a prayer before the appointment and be guided by the Holy Spirit.
Most directors begin with prayer and then it is your time to speak about what is most important, your relationship with God.
What I think is most helpful is to begin with the assignment (scripture readings, book, etc.) from the time before and then move into the other questions. There is more focus when you begin with prayer and your response. The conversation is not going to be linear, and you can, and people often weave in life experiences which correlate with the scripture and prayer. As one of my directees often says, “God weaves it all together.”
If you find yourself unprepared for spiritual direction due to a lack of time or desire, or you feel you did a poor job of sticking to your spiritual plan, go to spiritual direction anyway! Your director can help you refocus and pray with you. We are all on this road together, to help support each other, not to judge. The spiritual life is one of progress, not perfection.
When we do prepare for our spiritual direction time, we honor our commitment to grow in our spiritual life. The time spent with our director will be more fruitful, whether we are just beginning or have been in spiritual direction for many years. And, preparation can bring us peace, allowing us to be more open to the work of the Holy Spirit.
