The call to contemplation is, in many respects, a call to second conversion. During our first conversion, we leave behind those aspects of our life that are incompatible with a life of grace. During this second conversion- which often coincides with the awakening of contemplative prayer in the soul- we are invited to let go of our reliance on purely sensory experiences of God. Contemplation draws us into an intimacy with God that transcends the senses and therefore lies beyond words, ideas and images.
Discursive mediation- where one engages their mind and heart and reflects on the words and actions of Jesus, primarily in the Gospels- provides a necessary and firm foundation, rooting us in the truth of who God is and our purpose in this world. It is the grace contemplation, however, that allows us to encounter more deeply the One who stands behind those words and actions.
As beautiful and profound as this transformation may be, the change in one’s experience of God- and thus in one’s relationship with Him- can appear terrifying to a soul that has known the love and mercy of Jesus Christ and whose only desire is to return that love. When one is no longer able to meditate upon the things of God or feel, on a sensory level, His nearness in prayer, it is natural to assume that either God has abandoned them or that one’s own heart has grown lukewarm. The soul then experiences a kind of spiritual anxiety and begins to examine itself and their prayer continuously, convinced that if it can uncover the source of this apparent problem, it will be able to fix itself and return to the familiar path of consolation and meditation.
Yet as long as a soul has not abandoned prayer and continues to strive to love their neighbor, it may rest assured that something far deeper than what can be perceived by the senses is taking place. For the person experiencing this grace, reliance on sense perception- both in daily life and in prayer- gradually diminishes. From the apparent ruins of this collapse, a deeper faith, hope, and love are born, purifying the soul and enabling it to love more fully.
Needless to say, the gift of contemplation demands a faith and a trust that extend beyond what the senses can provide. It ushers the soul into a deeper and more fertile land, where God is no longer mediated primarily through the imagination, but encountered as the living reality to whom the soul surrenders itself.
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