At a recent dinner with friends, the topic of scrupulosity arose. I shared how I overcame it many years ago. It may not resonate with everyone, but I believe what I said—and what one friend responded with—could help those who struggle with this affliction.
(One detail I forgot to mention at the time is that this insight came from a very elderly man who shared it with me over a decade ago; it was what ultimately shifted my perspective.)
If you have ever loved someone—a spouse, child, parent, sibling, or friend—and have worked tirelessly, or even fought great battles (sometimes extreme ones), to ensure they had what they needed, then you understand this: If that loved one became so intent on reciprocating your love that they worried their efforts were insufficient, you would do everything possible to dispel those doubts. You would assure them that the very intensity of their striving—the inner efforts they deemed inadequate—was more than enough to leave you ecstatically satisfied.
Now consider how this applies analogously to God the Father and His only begotten Son.
God the Father gave us His precious Son, delivering Him over to creaturehood. Within that creaturehood, He gave Him up to poverty; within poverty, to grief, sorrow, betrayal, scourging, and finally crucifixion; and within that crucifixion, He gave Him up not for His friends, but for His enemies (Rom. 5:6-8). Christ was obedient to the will of His Father and fought a fierce battle on our behalf: becoming man, living a life of arduous poverty, enduring His Passion, and laying down His life in such brutal suffering and death. He drank the cup of suffering to the dregs in order to save our souls.
If the Father gave everything—even His own Son—for His enemies, and if the Son willingly fought to the end with such intensity for those same enemies, how can we—His friends—fret and agonize over what He will do with us? Would it not be not only unreasonable, but even offensive to the Giver and the Fighter who secured the victory in this war? Would it not be outrageous to take upon ourselves the burden of winning a war that has already been won? How could it be that the Son of God could fight so hard to win the salvation of our souls just to cast us away at the slightest mistakes? Nay, since He fought that hard, He will do what He has to do to ensure the fruit of His earning yields its fruit when we, from the heart, are seeking Him.
Perhaps scrupulosity, at its root, consists in refusing to let God be who He has revealed Himself to be: refusing to let His gift be what it truly is, and refusing to honor the sacrificial love of Christ, who fought so fiercely to demonstrate it even to His enemies. Perhaps the solution is to return to the profound reality of all that God has done and the depth of His love for us. Paul surely understood this when he prayed that we might “comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God” (Eph. 3:18-19).
“Ugh, Erick. You are just making me even more scrupulous!”
Perhaps, but the hope is that at the other end of this self-reflection, you can overcome the scrupulosity. That’s the aim. Can’t fault the aim.
Beneath Paul’s wisdom lies the brilliant logic of St. John Chrysostom, who captures everything I have said in his commentary on Romans 8:32—”He that spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things.”:
“And here the words he uses are high-wrought and exceedingly warm, to show his love. How then is He to neglect us, in whose behalf He spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all? For reflect what goodness it is not to spare even His own Son, but to give Him up, and to give Him up for all, and those worthless, and unfeeling, and enemies, and blasphemers. How then shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? What he means then is much as follows; If He gave His own Son, and not merely gave Him, but gave Him to death, why doubt any more about the rest, since you have the Master? Why be dubious about the chattels, when you have the Lord? For He that gave the greater thing to His enemies, how shall He do else than give the lesser things to His friends?” (Homily 15 on Romans).
This perspective has brought me great peace over the years, and I hope it may offer some comfort and clarity to others facing similar struggles.
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This post was first published on ErickYbarra.Substack.com and is reprinted here with permission.
Image courtesy of Unsplash.
