Wendy asked me if she should start the decade over if she zones out on the Rosary.“I start over,” she said, “when I really want to pray for someone—and don’t want to miss the chance to do that.”
That’s a good reason to start over—because it comes from a peaceful, generous place.
But it’s not always helpful to start over if you’re just worried that you’ve done it wrong—or that God’s going to be mad at you if you don’t pay perfect attention every moment.
Getting real
Confession: I have short zone-outs all the time. And I just move ahead with my prayer. In fact, I consider it a victory to pull my attention back—because I didn’t let our enemy shame me into giving up!
It’s a chance to take a little sip of God’s mercy.
A friend said, “There’s not that much difference between my ‘great’ prayer and my ‘poor’ prayer anyway.” He’s right! Prayer is not about impressing God.
Why we pray
It’s easy to judge our prayer by our own standard of perfection. To do a great job of “checking the box” while overlooking the real reason we pray.
We pray to open ourselves to the Holy Spirit’s divine work in our souls. We pray to draw down grace for the world.
And in doing so, we become less reliant on our own efforts and more dependent on God’s action, which gives us peace.
Relying too much on our standards of perfection means that pride has crept in, which agitates us and shrinks our heart’s ability to hear God’s voice when we pray.
How to please God
A priest said, “God is pleased if we just do our best.” Even so, we have a responsibility to orient ourselves to attentive prayer when possible—for two reasons.
First, God really loves hanging out with us just as we are. Psalm 149:4 says, “The Lord takes delight in his people.” That means each one of us! Picture yourself delighting God when you turn your attention to him.
And second, to attain the inner peace God intends for us, we need to hear his encouragement to hand over everyone and everything we think we need to fix—and learn instead to rely on his guidance and his timing.
5 tips for more focused prayer
Here are some easy things we can do to keep connected with God when we pray.
1. Notice what you do before you go into prayer. If you’ve been watching the news or scrolling social, consider how that affects your ability to focus.
2. Calm your nervous system by inhaling to a slow count of 4, holding the breath for 2 counts, then exhaling to a count of 6. Adjust the rhythm to what relaxes you. Repeat at least four times.
3. Ask God for focus as you begin to pray…the Holy Spirit is already waiting to help you!
4. Call to mind the big reason you want to pray and let it land in your heart.
5 . Be reminded that if it seems nothing is happening, God doesn’t know how to do nothing. As we collaborate with him in prayer, he is transforming us, our loved ones, and the world in powerful ways we may see—or that take us by surprise when they’re revealed to us in heaven.
The only way to fail in prayer is to give up. So just keep going! And reach out for guidance if you could use a little help.
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Photo by Thérèse Westby on Unsplash
