As soon as many readers see the word “sanctity” in a title, they prepare to exit the reading if not leave immediately. This is because most of us have trouble seeing ourselves as remotely holy, much less anything approximating a saint. However, there is a saint hidden in each of us, and whether that hidden saint ever sees the light of day is more often than not a question of what degree we see our spiritual existence as transactional or surrendering.
Our Destiny of Sanctity
We are called to be holy ( 2 Peter 1: 3-4) but only through God’s grace ( Rom 5:12). The very first line of the Anima Christi reads “ Soul of Christ, sanctify me”. God Almighty wants us to become saints, whether we believe it or not. This sacred destiny is the epitome and culmination of our journey to God. It is obviously the highest fulfillment of that journey.
We usually equate saints as past masters of spirituality who floated around curing people, meditating, praying, elevating, or bilocating. We imagine them as something between mystical souls spewing profound theology or selflessly serving others. Braced with such lofty perceptions of sanctity, we cannot help but see ourselves as delusional, shrill karaoke amateurs aspiring to out sing Sinatra. That is precisely how the devil wants us to feel. The last thing he wants or needs is an army of faithful souls actually believing and aspiring to become the saints God intends them to be !
12 Steps Away
In my book Twelve Steps to Sacred ( Red Penguin, 2026), I propose 12 traits which independently and cumulatively shape our journey toward sanctity. These are embracing our sacred 1) Destiny 2) Talents 3) Present 4) Silence 5) Detachment 6) Humility 7) Simplicity 8) Sharing 9) Sacrifice 10) Falls/Suffering 11) Rejection 12) Surprises and Patience. We will grow and progress in our journey toward our sacred destiny to become saints to the degree that we ascertain, develop, practice, and apply each of these traits to the best of our ability.
While not directly referenced in the book, a central aspect of how we manage each of the above traits shaping our spiritual life is whether we see and live that spirituality as transactional or surrendering.
The Transactional Approach
Under a transactional mindset, a person’s relationship with the divine, ethical rules, and others is treated like a business contract. In such a system, good deeds, prayer, rituals, and worship are performed with the explicit and implicit expectation of receiving a given reward or avoiding a given punishment. The basic premise is “I do this for you, so you must now do that for me.” Applied to our relationship with God, one might believe “If I pray daily and give to charity, God is obligated to grant me health, wealth, and success on my terms.”
Another aspect of this warped spirituality is the notion that one acts solely for self-benefit under the guise of virtue. Once we see spirituality and our spiritual life as some sort of contract, one cannot help but keep an eye on what goes out and what comes in, eventually forgetting what the real purpose of that spirituality really is and, most importantly, to whom it should be directed.
Traits/Consequences of Transactional Spirituality
A transactional mindset and spirit-set leads to many toxic and destructive perceptions of one’s spiritual life:
- Spiritual Perfectionism/Scrupulosity
If one sees one’s interaction with God or others as a mere contract, there will be an increasing pattern of obsessing on details and minutiae to the degree that one will become more concerned with details over substance. The implication is that novenas and devotions will only have value to the extent that they are perfectly said. Any slip, no matter how trivial or simple, will become a cause for concern.
- Obsession with expectations, entitlement, and resentment
Just as legal contracts carry expectations for all parties involved, transactional spirituality will invariably foment entitled expectations which, went not met, will lead to resentment, bitterness, and feelings of unfairness. Resentment over not receiving some desired request despite tons of prayers would be an example of this. Fr. Mike has stated that “ deserve” is not a word any follower of Christ should ever utter.
- The Up/Down Double Curse
The up/down double curse is the unenviable burden of resenting those one perceives as given more than one has been given while dismissing or mistreating those one perceives as deservedly receiving less than one has been given. Either way, one is offending God.
- Comparing
The nasty habit of continually comparing ourselves to others leads to many sins. The older brother in The Parable of The Prodigal Son ( Lk 15:11-32) for example, became so obsessed with focusing on apparent injustice that he could not feel genuine joy toward his brother’s return. Invariably, such comparison only serves to instill ingratitude and warped feelings of injustice rooted in selfishness, One need only look at the reaction of the early workers to the later workers being paid the same in The Parable of The Vine Workers (Mt 20:1-16 ). One cannot embrace another while holding measuring tapes and scales!
- Quantity over Quality
Obsession over superficial earthly justice and measures invariably leads to focus on numbers over substance. Interactions with God and others become math exercises wherein the ultimate goal is to come out “ahead” or at the very least “even”. Such a distorted view obliterates any notion of sacrifice or charity.
- Seeing God and Others as Mere Instruments
Rather than properly seeing ourselves as instruments of God’s Will, the person embracing a transactional view of spirituality will see God and others as the instruments of satisfying his or her own self-instrument. The value of others and of God will depend on the extent that one’s ends and desires will be served. Morality and supposed spiritual growth will become nothing more than a ledger hinging on purely temporal, superficial, and warped standards.
Transactional Spirituality as an Obstacle to Sanctity
Taking my 12 Steps to Sacred as a guide, it is clear that transactional thinking is the very antithesis of sanctity and growth toward our sacred potential. Under such a framework, our destiny is to “win” on our terms and our talents become instruments not for God but for our own self-interest. The primary time focus will be on the past and future as one plots how to gain an advantage and protect one’s personal investment in every interaction with God and others.
There will be no place for silence, peace, or simplicity under this kind of spirituality. On the contrary, the noise and complexity of each earthly interaction and even one’s interaction with God will be brimming with intermittent feelings of superiority, insecurity, and anxiety. Trust will certainly not be a prevalent factor in that one will consciously or sub-consciously be more concerned with protecting one’s interest and trusting the other. Sharing much less sacrifice will increasingly become a counter-productive and even foolish proposition since such activities make no sense to the spiritual accountant tallying gains and losses.
Lastly, falls and setbacks and the surprises of life will be seen as disasters to be avoided or hidden beneath the rubble of self-obsession. How can one even think of reaching out to the sufferer in need when one is terrified of suffering and needing oneself? Surprises will be seen as at least annoying if not outright disasters against one’s perfectly laid plans and strategies. Flexibility, trust, and faith have no place where everything must be accounted for. Ultimately, patience cannot thrive in such an environment which does not allow for the steady, trusting growth that truly effective spiritual journeys demand.
The Genuine and Only Alternative: Surrendering to God
Many observes would call this alternative “transformative” to match with its opposite “transactional”, but I prefer the term “surrendering” because this term hits the nail on the head. This term is preferable to “transformative” on two levels. First, transformative is vague in that such a term does not really tell us what one is transforming to. Is one transforming into a devil or a saint? Second, one might rightly ask “What brings about such transformation?” to which there is no answer.
“Surrendering “ tells us exactly what brings about the transformation and indirectly tells us all we need to know about what we are transforming to. By definition, “surrendering” means to give up control, yield, , and cede possession to another person, authority, group, or influence.
Surrendering usually leads one toward the one we surrender to. Certainly, surrendering to an evil foe is an unfortunate move which may very well lead to more evil results. Surrendering is good if one surrenders toward good and bad if one surrenders to bad, as in a temptation.
One can say that many in this world and society have surrendered, and even embraced, evil. Ignorance of one’s faith and fear rooted in a lack of faith can lead to such surrendering to evil. The key is recognizing that God is our ultimate and only goal and therefore surrendering to Him is the key to growing toward our sacred destiny.
Conclusion
Our world and society is presently mired in a spirit and practice of transactional spirituality. The value of anything or anyone lies in the degree to which that thing or that person can benefit the person involved. Such thinking as “What’s in it for me?” or “Why me?” epitomize such a view. Cries of unfairness, perceived injustice, deserved entitlement, and rampant comparison lead us everywhere but to God.
Faced with this transactional obstacle to growing in holiness much less sanctity, we can discover that such transactional thinking is really a surrender to the dictates and norms of this world and society. Since it is increasingly obvious to such a surrender will only lead to spiritual and moral oblivion and loss of our souls, we must seek the only alternative which makes sense. That alternative is surrender to God, which implies surrendering in trust and faith to God’s Providence and Will.
Leaving all control to God frees us to grow in humility, sacrifice, redemptive suffering and, ultimately, sanctity. Transactional spirituality sees faith and morality as a contract on earthly terms. Surrendering to God, on the other hand, sees these things as a contract, a covenant, with God Almighty. That is the only path to holiness and the sanctity that is our eternal destiny if we are humble and courageous enough to accept and embrace it.
Take “Twelve Steps to Sacred” with Gabriel Garnica at the Avila Institute this winter.
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Image: Unsplash+
