Feeling Lonely Because of God?

Oct 19, 2026

Are you making spiritual progress but feeling more alone? Do you struggle to find Catholics who understand your desire for deeper prayer? Are you being criticized for caring too much about the details of your faith?

In this episode of The Devil Is in the Details, Dan and Jordan Burke continue their journey through The Devil in the Castle, exploring the Fourth Mansion, the threshold between the purgative way and the illuminative way. This is the stage where habitual mortal and venial sin has been conquered, where the soul has entered into the prayer of simplicity, and where a new kind of loneliness begins. You have made real progress, you are objectively holy compared to most Catholics, but something unexpected happens: the people around you start to feel threatened, priests may misunderstand you, and even your closest friends may look at you sideways.

This is where many devout Catholics find themselves stuck. They are faithfully practicing mental prayer, going to confession regularly, living by a rule of life, and pursuing virtue with intentionality. But they do not understand why their spiritual life suddenly feels isolating. They bring their struggles to confession and are told they are being scrupulous. They abstain from things that are near occasions of sin and are accused of being judgmental. They prioritize Mass, prayer, and fasting over social events and are labeled as weird or extreme.

Dan and Jordan discuss why this loneliness is a normal and expected part of spiritual progress, how the enemy uses isolation and discouragement to make you turn back, and why finding like minded Catholics is essential for persevering through this stage. They also explore the new kind of spiritual warfare that emerges in the Fourth Mansion, where poisonous creatures seldom enter but the demons that do are smarter and more capable. The good news is that you now recognize temptation as a sign of impending breakthrough, and you have peace in the midst of the storm because you know the Lord is with you.

This conversation is both sobering and encouraging, calling Catholics to recognize where they truly are in the spiritual journey while offering practical tools rooted in the wisdom of St. Teresa of Avila and the Church's spiritual tradition for navigating loneliness, criticism, and the deeper purifications that lead to union with God.

In this episode:
  • What distinguishes the Fourth Mansion from the first three
  • Why habitual mortal and venial sin is no longer present at this stage
  • The prayer of simplicity: when discursive prayer becomes impossible
  • Why most Catholics are not here but should still understand it
  • The importance of aspiring to deeper union with God
  • Why programs like Exodus 90 are good but not enough
  • The danger of practicing virtue without dealing with root sin
  • How to identify your patterns of sin and weaknesses
  • The importance of asking the person who knows you best for feedback
  • Why you should never be defensive when people try to help you
  • The motivation for going deeper: love for Jesus and gratitude
  • Why the shortcut to heaven is learning and emulating Jesus
  • The loneliness that comes from exiting the purgative way
  • Why priests and spiritual directors may misunderstand you at this stage
  • The common experience of being told you are scrupulous when you are not
  • How to help a priest in confession by providing context
  • Why people feel threatened and judged by your rejection of sin
  • The importance of finding like minded Catholics and spiritual community
  • Why poisonous creatures seldom enter the Fourth Mansion
  • The new kind of spiritual warfare: fewer demons but smarter and more capable
  • Why temptation at this stage is a sign of impending breakthrough
  • The peace that comes from knowing the Lord is with you in the storm
The spiritual life is not about perfection. It is about faithfulness, cooperation with grace, and allowing the Lord to purify and transform you according to His will. The devil is in the details, but God is on the throne, and the God of peace will crush Satan under your feet.

What questions do you have after watching today's video? Were you impacted in some way? If so, comment below!

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The Devil in the Castle: St. Teresa of Ávila, Spiritual Warfare, and the Progress of the Soul is now available on Saintify, a Catholic streaming platform featuring hundreds of audiobooks and e-books from today's leading spiritual writers. Visit saintify.com to start listening today.

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☦ABOUT US:
Under the patronage of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, the mission of the Avila Foundation is to draw Christians worldwide into deeper union with Christ.

Support the mission: https://www.avila-army.org/
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👨🏽‍💻Websites:
Home: https://spiritualdirection.com/
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